I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
