Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
