idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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