It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize