Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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