haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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