She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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