Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
