Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
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