You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
