Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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