And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Just took my morning after pill in the library
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
