Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize