so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
