I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site