I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks