I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...