covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
They have beer where we have blood.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit