Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
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The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
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You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals