I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
