D3 body, D1 cock
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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