i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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