I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
