I seem to have left my pride at pride
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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