You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
