Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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