hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
