They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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