you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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