How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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