Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
