It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Randomize
