I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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