Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
