On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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