they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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