dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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