im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
