I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
