Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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