Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
