His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
The beer is more important than you right now.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
