i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
