You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
