so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
You need a sexual gate keeper
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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