i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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