But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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