I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
