I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
