thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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