can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
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I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
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I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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