I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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