Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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