I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
