This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize