she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
