I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
