I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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