I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Randomize
