I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
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drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
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Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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