wanna go halves on a baby?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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