were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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