the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
